The fragility of Life

Have you ever had days where you felt sad but didn't really know why? Unfortunately that is not the day I am having. I know exactly why I feel sad, though sad doesn't really begin to cover it.

This past weekend I went to Tbilisi to have a physical. It turned out there was a trip with the organization I work for, so I skipped the doctors and went with them instead. The dancing, the views, the people; it was all so much fun. I didn't make it back to Tbilisi in time to catch the mini-bus back to Bolnisi, so I staid the night. I got a call early in the evening from my host mom asking if I was alright. I thought it was a little strange, but she hung up and I figured she would call back if there were any problems. I was wrong.

It turns out that there was an accident at home and the 8 year old boy was killed. I heard about it the next afternoon as I was arriving back in Bolnisi. I received a phone call from a representative of the organization I work for stating that there had been an accident and one of the children in my host family had been killed. I was to pack my things and call him back as soon as this was done because the host family couldn't take care of me anymore. I am not sure what is proper in this case, but I don't like that I was whisked away so fast as if his death didn't affect me. I may not know what is proper, but I really didn't get the chance to say good-bye or any of that stuff. Perhaps all the other people there were family, and it was inappropriate for me to be there because I wasn't, but no one has yet to explain the situation. Perhaps they really did hate me and don't want me to be there for such an emotional and personal event. Hopefully I can find someone to explain the culture of it all to me. It doesn't help that the family and I were apparently having problems, though everyone else would know more about what they are than I do.

My life here has been a mess! I am not sure it is going to get any easier, but I am learning a lot and hopefully doing some good. I will try to keep you updated a little more now, but it hasn't really been easy.