The Squirrel Told Me "You Must Be Nuts!"

I arrived to the building around ten minutes before it was to be opened. I was not looking forward to the early morning class, but I wanted to be on time and felt as if I were running late. There were three other students already there; three students and a squirrel! 

Just outside the doors, there are two large cement blocks and a trash can. At this moment, inside that trash can is a squirrel foraging through the garbage. He notices me watching him. He keeps glancing up and then back down. Then he looks up. He turns his head and peers at me with one eye and gets a serious look upon his face. I can tell he is assessing me to decide just how much protection he will have to provide his stash. Is it possible to keep it safe from me?

Feeling a little uncomfortable with the looks the squirrel was giving me, I walked over to the side of the concrete block closest to the door. Now that things were safe, the squirrel gave into his curiosity. He jumped   to the first block, looked at me, then started fiddling with his hands as if to say "I'm not doing anything!" I could, however, tell differently!

He jumped to the second block and repeated his actions there. Then he became braver. He looked me straight in the eyes, cocked his head, wrung his hands, and cocked his head the other way. I could see the curiosity on his face. On all fours he inched a little closer, eyeing me with great interest. He jumped back, and then inched forward some more. He stopped at the edge of the block. He looked me up and down and appeared to be getting ready to jump. 

One of the other students then mentioned that there was a squirrel where I was. When the squirrel heard that he was being talked about, he looked me up and down again, and then bounded off around the back of the block. As he exited the premises, I could imagine him saying "You must be nuts!"

Test Taking Security!

As you may or may not know, I have been engaged in a rather extended process of obtaining state teacher certification that would enable me to be employed at international schools and/or state schools here in the US. As with everything else, I seem to have came at this a little backwards, but at least I am moving toward the goal! The latest step was to take two more subject tests; this time at the testing center in Colorado Springs, Colorado!

I obtained my directions via the testing website and google maps. As the center is right on a main road close to my hotel, I figure it would be easy to find given the information; I was wrong! Perhaps it was because the road I needed to use to make the U-turn (which I think would have been illegal) was not properly marked. Or perhaps it was the that the center is hidden in a complex of stores/businesses behind even larger businesses. One window with the curtain drawn and the one door with a small, barely visible sign, that faces the parking lot is not enough to alert you to its presence until you have parked and already walking toward it!

One must walk through this door, inform the person at the desk who you are, take the clipboard with information you need to read and a number. And then, as if sitting at a doctor's office waiting to be called by the nurse, you wait.

When your number is finally called, you sign in, show them your two forms of identification, get your palm read and your picture taken. They must watch you turn off your cell phone. They have you put your belongings into a small locker and continue with security screening. They make you pat down your pockets or turn them inside out to make sure there are no scraps of paper. You then have to pat around your belt and run your hands down your pant legs to show that there is nothing hidden there as well. Then long sleeves must be rolled up to show nothing is there except your arms. If you happen to have long hair, you need to move it out of the way so they can see your ears and check behind them as well!  When they are satisfied that dirt is the only thing that can possibly be behind your ears, they lock the locker and give you the key. It is time to be escorted to your computer to take the actual test.

Before you are allowed to enter, the staff informs you that any contact with other test takers, including eye contact, is strictly forbidden! You must raise your hand if you have a question or when you are finished. If you feel the need to get some water, you can come to the door and have them go and get you a cup from where you were sitting just around the corner. Unfortunately, one is unable to get it themselves because once you pass the lockers, if you are to return you must be screened again! That extra 5 feet (at the most), though still within the office, is apparently not secure.

When I tell people that I have traveled to many foreign countries or that I have visited various governmental buildings within the US and overseas to include the Israeli Consulate in Atlanta, if they ask where the most extensive security measures were taken, I know what I can tell them: Pearson VUE Test Center in Colorado Springs!

Rough Day!

Today was one of those days I just wanted to hide away in my apartment. Of course, it seems like that has been what I have mostly been doing, but today was much worse. I did, however manage to go to Starbucks after class and make use of the internet there. It appears to be quite strong and therefore will be of good use when I need to do google hangouts and such!

I seem to have overlooked the question I am sure most are asking at the moment: "Why would you want to hide away when you are in such a beautiful location?" I agree! It IS a beautiful location, and there is plenty to do here. I unfortunately am starting to really feel the stress come up. I am taking classes, and this is a huge stressor to me at the moment. Being forced to speak in English is bad enough, but when you are expected to do it in another language (without even translation to rely on), it becomes a nightmare! I am also in a situation that people don't seem to understand. They figure that since I travel so often, I should be able to do what I need to do without any problem. This is a reasonable assumption, though strongly incorrect! Unfortunately, I hold the same one, and it is frustrating that it is so difficult for me to do things that should be so simple. The acts of going to the store or interacting with a stranger are terrifying for me. It takes me forever to accomplish these relatively easy tasks, and it is so draining that I do them as little as possible.

It has been some of these things that has made me decide that I am not going to go to Saudi Arabia. I am not in a position mentally to be able to do it at the moment. Perhaps someday that will be different, but that time is not now. Hopefully there is something better for me on the horizons, and even though I am not sure of that, I am going to trust that there is. It is time to really start listening to my body and doing what I need to do to get back on track with myself!

When Will I relax?

This question rings through my head on a daily basis! I am constantly reminded by others that I need to "take it easy" or "settle down for a little while." While these are generally well meaning, and perhaps correct to a certain extent, they are generally stated by people who really don't understand the way I live. It is definitely more powerful when I receive the advice from someone who does, however.... and I have recently been getting the same suggestions on that front as well. And my time here in Puerto Vallarta may be bearing that idea out as well.

I am in a city to which many tourists come in search of Paradise. Few go away disappointed. I came to study Spanish. I have since been inundated with invitations to various places that I would love to go, but I am not sure I am going to have the time to do. Studying Spanish takes up a lot of time, and in addition to that, I have two online/hybrid courses I am taking as well!

But even if I weren't so busy, I wonder if I would be able to relax. Each morning I wake up, check my emails, take a shower, perhaps have some breakfast. As I leave, I instinctively check to make sure my side arm is there, though I haven't had to wear it since I left Afghanistan. I feel neither need nor desire to wear it, but habit can be a difficult thing to break.

I did go to a Couchsurfing meeting last night. It was fun, though a bit loud, and as it was mostly Spanish being spoken, it gave me a good opportunity to practice my listening. Those who attended seemed quite nice, and actually a little familiar, but I couldn't help but be uncomfortable. The loud, unfamiliar surroundings accompanied by unknown people, nice as they were, was very overwhelming. I enjoyed myself, don't get me wrong, but I did so in spite of the situation not because of it.

So, when will I relax? As soon as I can figure out how. I am not so sure it is going to even be a possibility for me for sometime to come.

Struggling Again!

It seems that time is upon me once again; that one where I start to feel overwhelmed and wonder why I am doing all the things I am doing. True, it is a lot, but I don't think that is the whole story. I need to relax and just breath a little bit, but I can't seem to bring myself to do that.

I have my Spanish class, which is going well, though I don't know if I am actually going to be able to retain it. I am taking two courses for my M.Div. These are the ones that are giving me problems; at least one of them. It is just extremely difficult to be taking them internationally. Perhaps it is just me and the way that I view things getting in the way, but that is the way it seems. That and I haven't been able to focus. I have basically outline a book, and I can't seem to do it. It appears that the others are having no problems with it, which actually makes it worse. Perhaps I should just forget about attempting to do these hybrid/online classes and go to Denver and do them residentially. I like to know when things are happening and how; I don't like to be tied down, but I like a schedule. Grrrrrr...

On a slightly different note, I took the Florida Teacher Certification Exam for ESOL K-12. Not quite sure what else I have to do, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. I have a couple more tests to go, which I hope that I pass! I guess after that, I will contact them again to see what they have to say.

Hopefully my brain will settle down soon enough for me to not totally destroy my grades. Either way, I am going to attempt to enjoy my time here and not let this get to me too much. Here's to hoping!