Today was one of those days I just wanted to hide away in my apartment. Of course, it seems like that has been what I have mostly been doing, but today was much worse. I did, however manage to go to Starbucks after class and make use of the internet there. It appears to be quite strong and therefore will be of good use when I need to do google hangouts and such!
I seem to have overlooked the question I am sure most are asking at the moment: "Why would you want to hide away when you are in such a beautiful location?" I agree! It IS a beautiful location, and there is plenty to do here. I unfortunately am starting to really feel the stress come up. I am taking classes, and this is a huge stressor to me at the moment. Being forced to speak in English is bad enough, but when you are expected to do it in another language (without even translation to rely on), it becomes a nightmare! I am also in a situation that people don't seem to understand. They figure that since I travel so often, I should be able to do what I need to do without any problem. This is a reasonable assumption, though strongly incorrect! Unfortunately, I hold the same one, and it is frustrating that it is so difficult for me to do things that should be so simple. The acts of going to the store or interacting with a stranger are terrifying for me. It takes me forever to accomplish these relatively easy tasks, and it is so draining that I do them as little as possible.
It has been some of these things that has made me decide that I am not going to go to Saudi Arabia. I am not in a position mentally to be able to do it at the moment. Perhaps someday that will be different, but that time is not now. Hopefully there is something better for me on the horizons, and even though I am not sure of that, I am going to trust that there is. It is time to really start listening to my body and doing what I need to do to get back on track with myself!
I seem to have overlooked the question I am sure most are asking at the moment: "Why would you want to hide away when you are in such a beautiful location?" I agree! It IS a beautiful location, and there is plenty to do here. I unfortunately am starting to really feel the stress come up. I am taking classes, and this is a huge stressor to me at the moment. Being forced to speak in English is bad enough, but when you are expected to do it in another language (without even translation to rely on), it becomes a nightmare! I am also in a situation that people don't seem to understand. They figure that since I travel so often, I should be able to do what I need to do without any problem. This is a reasonable assumption, though strongly incorrect! Unfortunately, I hold the same one, and it is frustrating that it is so difficult for me to do things that should be so simple. The acts of going to the store or interacting with a stranger are terrifying for me. It takes me forever to accomplish these relatively easy tasks, and it is so draining that I do them as little as possible.
It has been some of these things that has made me decide that I am not going to go to Saudi Arabia. I am not in a position mentally to be able to do it at the moment. Perhaps someday that will be different, but that time is not now. Hopefully there is something better for me on the horizons, and even though I am not sure of that, I am going to trust that there is. It is time to really start listening to my body and doing what I need to do to get back on track with myself!
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