When Will I relax?

This question rings through my head on a daily basis! I am constantly reminded by others that I need to "take it easy" or "settle down for a little while." While these are generally well meaning, and perhaps correct to a certain extent, they are generally stated by people who really don't understand the way I live. It is definitely more powerful when I receive the advice from someone who does, however.... and I have recently been getting the same suggestions on that front as well. And my time here in Puerto Vallarta may be bearing that idea out as well.

I am in a city to which many tourists come in search of Paradise. Few go away disappointed. I came to study Spanish. I have since been inundated with invitations to various places that I would love to go, but I am not sure I am going to have the time to do. Studying Spanish takes up a lot of time, and in addition to that, I have two online/hybrid courses I am taking as well!

But even if I weren't so busy, I wonder if I would be able to relax. Each morning I wake up, check my emails, take a shower, perhaps have some breakfast. As I leave, I instinctively check to make sure my side arm is there, though I haven't had to wear it since I left Afghanistan. I feel neither need nor desire to wear it, but habit can be a difficult thing to break.

I did go to a Couchsurfing meeting last night. It was fun, though a bit loud, and as it was mostly Spanish being spoken, it gave me a good opportunity to practice my listening. Those who attended seemed quite nice, and actually a little familiar, but I couldn't help but be uncomfortable. The loud, unfamiliar surroundings accompanied by unknown people, nice as they were, was very overwhelming. I enjoyed myself, don't get me wrong, but I did so in spite of the situation not because of it.

So, when will I relax? As soon as I can figure out how. I am not so sure it is going to even be a possibility for me for sometime to come.