Over one month has already gone by since Easter. I can't believe so much time has gone by and so much has happened to test me. Ever since the day that the person from the main office came from Lebanon and didn't answer the students' questions, I have been targeted for anything and everything possible. They seem to be looking for a reason to fire me, or at least to let me know that they have the power to do so whenever they see fit, so I need to make sure to keep my mouth shut. No more standing up for the students, and no more "feeding ideas to the students" as if they weren't able to come up with these ideas on their own. I can't believe that the person who is representing this educational organization here in Kurdistan seems to not only welcome the use of deliberate use of lies and deceit in business deals, but also thinks that the Kurds are stupid hick who don't have enough brains to know when they are being treated unfairly! It is so disheartening.
You probably know that I tend to be fairly laid back in the sense that I don't really care how people treat me for the most part. However, when you start picking on people I have been placed in a position of authority over, as limited as it may be, I take it more personally than anyone could have believed possible. I advocate for my students not because they are stupid, but because their English rhetorical skills are not quite to the level needed to do it themselves. Add this to the culture of being respectful of people in positions of power (respectful seems to equal not asking questions), you have a recipe for people who are able to be taken advantage of.
I don't know if I will be allowed to come back next year, or if I even want to. I have been thinking about it all day (and many days previously). As problematic as this place is, these students need someone to speak for them when possible and to help them make it through this unfamiliar environment. If I can bring myself to just educate the students and help them fight from behind the scenes, perhaps I can make a difference here even with them tying my hands. Or perhaps I can find a way to leave the company and still stay in the area to help. I think there are possibilities if I think a little outside of the box and take some risks. I am not sure what is going to happen, but I will be sure to let you know.
