It seems that things almost never change. I still wait longer than I want to do everything from shopping to writing my blog, I still haven't been able to sleep well, and I still don't eat as well as I should regardless of the fact that I know I should, and I want to.
This being said, it seems that lately everything has been changing! There are things here within the university admistration that are changing. This means everything from the set up to the way we are supposed to teach to the position people are in; all of this is going to change. I am not completely sure what to think about these changes just yet, but I do anticipate some problems on the horizon.
On another note, things have been a little tough for me for the past few weeks (2 or 3 actually). I had been sick, and then I had to take a Turkish test even though I had missed 2 weeks of class. I did score a 59%, so I was very happy! I never thought I would say that, but having not put the effort in required to get a good score, this was better than I was actually expecting. I have been seriously thinking about leaving the company, but I know that if I decide to do that, I will be out a lot of money, I won't have a job, and I won't be given a letter of release allowing me to work in the Kurdistan Region. This may not seem like a bid deal, but I like it here for some strange reason, and I would really like to stay. My only problems come from my job, and if I were able to either get a different one or even work freelance, I would be alright.
My students are actually causing me a bit of frustration at the moment, however. I just passed out a book for them (21 pages, maybe 3rd grade level), and they are struggling with it. I decided to make the homework to prepare for class. I don't think they are used to having to do that and making it homework may remind them to do so. I know that if they look at it at home, they will have time to translate everything and be ready to read it in class. I wish that they wouldn't rely on translation, but I don't know if they are ready to not. I can't fight it anymore; I will merely keep mentioning it and hope that some of them will take it in.
I keep telling myself that I don't care about the way my students perform, but I really do. I think I am too easily attached, and I feel almost personally responsible for their English ability. I know this isn't true, but I can't help but feel it, nonetheless. I guess this is why it is so frustrating to me when they don't seem to care, when they talk while I am talking, or when they come back from break 5 minutes late. I guess I should expect it, but I still do not find it acceptable.
I am thinking about hiring someone to do my cooking for me. As much as I don't like to have someone do my work, I am not eating correctly, and I don't forsee that changing anytime soon. So, if I hired a cook, then I wouldn't have to worry about what to eat or having to prepare it; I could just come home and have it either waiting or being prepared (or even just ready to heat up in the microwave). The only other solution I can think of is to get married, and the possibility of that seems quite low at the moment.
I guess that is all for now. I seem to have been rambling much more than usual, and there are many topics covered here; however, I think they are all relevant to what is happening and what I may need to do in the future. And barring being fired or some unforseen circumstances, I should be here until the end of June or mid-July. Hopefully by then I will have lined up another job....hopefully in the area!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Finally another update!!
If one waits until they know the ending, the story never gets written. It seems that this is what I have been doing for the past few weeks: waiting to know the end of the story. To think it is still not complete; the drama and sub-stories that play underneath, come to a head, and sink back again are of such a quality that TV would never take them (we can't have good quality television, people may start to think or something).
I wish I knew what it was all about or at least what facet of life it was dealing with. Unfortunately, it is like a cancer that has permeated the not so distinct lines between the work, home, and social aspects. Of course living in a place where you live with your coworkers/supervisors and they are the only people you know enough to socialize with, this is not really a surprise. But this is starting to change! Just two days ago I met one of the students from my Turkish class. He was visiting my university in order to sign up his sister for classes (she has the flu at the moment). Then yesterday while waiting for my housemate to get his hair cut, the two others from Turkish class that I usually had tea with walked in. Such a small world these days.
They asked where I have been and said that everyone at class was asking about me. I haven't been going for the past week or so because I have been really exhausted. I even started sleeping 11 hour nights! Now I am back down to 5 hours, which is alright as I feel more rested than I did when I was sleeping longer.
During all of this mess of illness and such, I managed to get into a real tift with my housemates and my former coworker who will be leaving for another university. I grew tired of her disrespect. I also learned that I was not able to trust her any longer. I told her this and she hasn't spoken to me since. She did, however, take a picture she took of my and our handyman where I was helping him with his reading of English and send it to management. They decided to construe it as teaching. I was told that if I ever did this again, I would be immediately dismissed!
So, I have been having a ball as they say. She tried to get me fired, my housemates weren't talking to me for about a week, I was paid late, and I haven't been able to send money home due to power outages and generator problems at the Western Union! Sometimes I wonder what the draw of all these adventures really is. Perhaps one of these days soon, I will find someone with whom to settle down. I guess we will have to wait and see.
I wish I knew what it was all about or at least what facet of life it was dealing with. Unfortunately, it is like a cancer that has permeated the not so distinct lines between the work, home, and social aspects. Of course living in a place where you live with your coworkers/supervisors and they are the only people you know enough to socialize with, this is not really a surprise. But this is starting to change! Just two days ago I met one of the students from my Turkish class. He was visiting my university in order to sign up his sister for classes (she has the flu at the moment). Then yesterday while waiting for my housemate to get his hair cut, the two others from Turkish class that I usually had tea with walked in. Such a small world these days.
They asked where I have been and said that everyone at class was asking about me. I haven't been going for the past week or so because I have been really exhausted. I even started sleeping 11 hour nights! Now I am back down to 5 hours, which is alright as I feel more rested than I did when I was sleeping longer.
During all of this mess of illness and such, I managed to get into a real tift with my housemates and my former coworker who will be leaving for another university. I grew tired of her disrespect. I also learned that I was not able to trust her any longer. I told her this and she hasn't spoken to me since. She did, however, take a picture she took of my and our handyman where I was helping him with his reading of English and send it to management. They decided to construe it as teaching. I was told that if I ever did this again, I would be immediately dismissed!
So, I have been having a ball as they say. She tried to get me fired, my housemates weren't talking to me for about a week, I was paid late, and I haven't been able to send money home due to power outages and generator problems at the Western Union! Sometimes I wonder what the draw of all these adventures really is. Perhaps one of these days soon, I will find someone with whom to settle down. I guess we will have to wait and see.
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